The Harder You Try The Worse It Gets

There's a strange paradox I kept running into. The harder I tried to fix my life, the more broken it felt. The more disciplined I became, the more exhausted I got. The more strategies I implemented, the more scattered I became.

For years, I thought I just wasn't trying hard enough. So I'd try harder, push more, force it. And I'd get results for a while. Then the pattern would return, usually stronger than before until I finally realized that you can't fix your way out of something that needs to be healed.

Let me tell you about one pattern I spent years trying to fix. I couldn't share my work. Couldn't write publicly. Couldn't put my ideas out there. I'd sit down to write and suddenly need to do everything else first. Reorganize. Research more. Perfect the outline. Clean my desk. Anything except the actual writing. I told myself I had a discipline problem. So I tried everything. Different schedules. Accountability systems. Every productivity hack imaginable. None of it worked. Because I was treating the symptom and not the root.

The root wasn't discipline. It was fear. I was terrified that what I had to say wasn't good enough. That my insights were obvious. That putting myself out there would expose me as ordinary and so my system kept me safe by keeping me stuck. This wasn't a discipline issue. It was an emotional pattern and no amount of discipline was going to fix it.

Here's what I've learned over three decades off working with my own heart and others and that is that most of what we're trying to fix isn't broken, it's actually wounded. The executives missing deadlines is not because they are disorganized as much as they're terrified of judgment. The entrepreneurs who won't launch is not because they are not being thorough but because they're afraid of being unworthy. The leaders who micromanage is not because they are controlling as much as they are scared everything will fall apart.

These aren't discipline problems. They're emotional patterns. Yet, the harder you try to fix them with more effort, the worse they get.

I had to stop trying to fix my writing resistance and start asking myself instead, what is this pattern trying to protect me from? The answer was strikingly clear and it revolved around being seen, being vulnerable, and being judged. I discovered that this fear had been running my life for years, and the reality was that it wasn't going to be overridden by a better system. It had to be healed.

Not bypass it. Not muscle through it but instead heal it. That meant meeting the fear, understanding it, and seeing how it tried to keep me safe even though it also kept me small. Then, slowly, learning to choose differently not because the fear disappeared, but because I could finally see it for what it was.

A pattern and not the truth.

You've probably been here too. Maybe you are here right now. You've tried the discipline, the systems, the white-knuckling your way through yet, you're exhausted. Not because you're weak, but because you've been trying to fix something that needed to be healed.

The procrastination isn't laziness, it's fear of failure. The over-planning isn't being thorough, it's fear of being unworthy. The perfectionism isn't high standards, it's fear of being misunderstood. These patterns are trying to protect you, but they're also keeping you stuck and blind from the fact that the harder you try to fix them, the stronger they become.

This is the work of The Sacred Inner Dance. Not fixing your behavior, but healing the patterns underneath. Eight two-hour sessions starting February 1st where we stop managing symptoms and start addressing roots. This isn't about learning another strategy. It's about finally meeting what's been running your life all along even if on the outside you seem to have it altogether….but within is causing you to keep falling apart.

You can keep trying to fix it, or you can finally let it be healed by doing the work that can get this done. Consider, that the people who transform aren't the ones who try harder. They're the ones who finally stop trying to so hard and open their wounded lives so new life can flow in and heal their hearts.

If you're ready to stop fixing and start healing, the doors are open. The Sacred Inner Dance begins February 1st.

This work isn't easy. But it's honest. And it's the only thing that actually changes anything.

Are you ready?

-pablo-

P.S. That resistance to sharing my work? It still shows up sometimes. But I can see it now. Work with it. Choose differently. Not because I eliminated the fear, but because I'm no longer unconsciously controlled or protected by it. That's healing. Not perfection. Freedom.